What the hell??!? (blah, blah of a wannabe alien)
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Random Email #23
Jun 29th
An email I got today (the whole thing)…
I need spam! I am testing my e-mail and I need someone to send me tons of it!
What kind of whacko *wants* spam? If there was a way I could send you all my spam, you certainly would be welcome to it, but I’m not going to sift through and manually send you the 50,000 or so spams I get per month, sorry. 
Poker
Jun 29th
You know what’s an awesome feeling? When you have one of those nights when you play some poker and you can’t be beaten.
It’s fun when you dominate poker night (especially since it happens far and few between for me).
Random Email #22
Jun 28th
Here’s an interesting email…
I need someone to come to my town so I can get nookingtons my name i dont know but i think it is james my town is Stockton
I have no clue what this dude is talking about, but I Googled “nookingtons”, and apparently it’s a store that exists only in a Nintendo game… hehe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nookingtons
Wow, I’m A Dork.
Jun 19th
I guess it goes in waves… because last December, I was just saying I need to be more dorky. Well, I just looked over my blog from the last few weeks, and it seems I’ve inadvertently become very good at that… with all the, “blade servers this… MySQL that… load balancers this…” stuff.
The new servers and equipment are going to be installed tomorrow, so hopefully maybe I’ll have something a little less dorky to write about soon. Hmmm… maybe once the servers are in place, I’ll break down their cardboard boxes and have a break dancing contest on them. That’s the kind of stuff that cool kids do, right?
Random Email #21
Jun 15th
Another random email (in it’s entirety)…
Someone stole my company, why I was a way.We move El Tigere’ Paint and Body. Money opened it ,my contacts,my account’s. They still using my tax I.D.# and my credit but the bills are coming to me. My DBA
What in the hell? How did someone “steal” your company, and what exactly did you want me to do about it for you?
I’m Invincible
Jun 12th
I had breakfast with Matt on Saturday, and on our way back to my place, some lady fell asleep at the wheel and rear-ended us pretty hard. No screeching tires or anything to warn us of the impact, she just unexpectedly slammed into the back of us. We were in a big car (GMS Yukon thank God), stopped at a stop light and she hit us so hard that we hit the car in front of us hard enough that the car in front of us hit the car in front of them. Weeeee…. dominos!
I took a picture of the lady’s car with my cell phone, but hopefully someone will send me a better picture of the car and I’ll post it.
Anyway, amazingly enough I feel fine. I was a little stiff the next morning (yesterday), but it just felt like I had a good day of hard snowboarding the day before or something. And today, I don’t even have that.
So I’m thinking maybe I’m invincible… no really.
Random Email #20
Jun 6th
Another random email (in it’s entirety)…
Wow, you are very unprofessional, I am sure that is why you sit at home with momy still at the age of 30 plus trying your best to run what you probably tell everyone is a business from your messy bedroom at momys house, I understand, I was there about 10 years ago, now I make over 200k annually. I doubt you will ever get there for the simple fact that you have no professionalism in your blood. Too bad for you. I own more than 8 successfull websites that pull in over 30k annually, I was considering advertising here during my marketing campaign, but you suck so that opportunity is gone for you. Ooops! ha, ha, let that digest for a few days, then get back to me mamas boy!
I can’t even think of anything to say about this one. But I *do* know it was cracking me up (really). heh
Although I must say… $200k/year is a truly amazing amount of income… 
SBrain, Inc.
Jun 2nd
I was having lunch with Tom today and we started blabbing about something kind of funny…
You know how pretty much anything can be “traded” (stocks, bonds, resources, etc.)? It’s just all based on the perceived future value of something. So wouldn’t it be interesting to essentially issue shares of yourself. Shareholders would essentially own a percentage of whatever ideas/patents/products/income, etc. that you generate over your lifetime. Basically they would be buying part of you in the hopes that you do something cool in your life so they get some upside with their investment.
The funniest part would be to watch your stock go down when you leave the country on vacation or get sick, and then come back up when you are in the country and healthy.
Who want’s to buy a piece of Shawn’s Brain? We’ll call it SBrain, Inc… 1 employee that can never be fired or quit.
Top 100 English Language Site
Jun 1st
Someone just let me know that digitalpoint.com is in the top 100 most trafficked domains for English language sites (#99 specifically). Hmmm… that’s pretty cool.
Soviet Architecture Never Built
May 21st
There are some pretty cool architectural designs from the old Soviet Union that never came to fruition…
http://www.muar.ru/ve/2003/moscow/index_e.htm
(via digg)
Random Email #19
May 17th
Here’s one I got (in it’s entirety like always)…
I FUCKING HATE THIS DAMN SITE IM GOING TO FUCKING MILK MY COW YOU BITCH!!!!
Okay… I can understand someone hating my site… I’m sure he/she isn’t the only one. But This dude hates my site so much that he’s going to go milk his cow. Huh? That really will show me I guess. {shrug}
Random Email #18
May 11th
I really would like to meet some of the people that are on the sending end of these emails.
Iwon’t sex film
That’s the whole email… I don’t know why this dude (maybe a girl, I dunno) feels like they need to email me telling me they are not going to “have sex with a film”. I never asked them to, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it. Would probably cause chaffing anyway, especially if it was VHS vs. DVD.
Random Email #17
May 5th
Here’s another random one…
pls,i want to connected with u ,pls
Say what dude??
Random Email #16
May 4th
Another random email I got today (in it’s entirety)…
please let me how can i hack a yahoo id?
Do I look like “Grand Master Hacker Shawn” or something? Why don’t you call Yahoo and ask them how to hack their whole site… then you can access all the Yahoo IDs you want.
3M Opticom 792 Emitter
Apr 30th
If anyone is tossing and turning at night trying to figure out what to get me for my birthday (in September.. heh), here’s an excellent idea. An infrared emitter for emergency vehicles that will turn traffic lights green for you (that of course is a joke, I’m sure you can’t buy one… but it would be neat).
The 3Mâ„¢ Opticomâ„¢ Priority Control System Model 792 Emitter is a compact, lightweight, weather resistant encoded signal device intended for use on priority and probe vehicles. The emitter is comprised of a flash-tube/reflector and housing assembly with an integral power supply and the required cables. Available models include: the Model 792H emitter – a high priority emitter; the Model 792L emitter – a low priority emitter; the 792T emitter – a low priority emitter equipped with a visible light filter; the Model 793R emitter – a range setting emitter for high priority, low priority, or probe frequency; the Model 792P emitter – a probe frequency emitter. The emitter converts 12 Volt DC vehicle battery power to the high voltage required for operation of the unit. Accessory switch devices are also available. The operation of the device may be customized through its interface software. The encoded signal pattern (comprised of the individual vehicle class code and vehicle identification number) generated by the emitter is determined after installation through the use of interface software. The emitter, when installed on authorized service and maintenance vehicles, may also be configured to utilize the Automated Signal Intensity Threshold setting feature of Series 700 Phase Selectors and Series 250/450 Discriminators. This feature refines and simplifies individual intersection setup and maintenance techniques. The emitter separates precisely timed pulses of high intensity light in the infrared and visible wavelengths at the base flash rate of approximately 10, 12, or 14 Hz. It also interleaves programmed encoded pulses that carry the vehicle class and ID number information. These energy pulses are sensed and processed by other Opticom system components to cause activation of the system. Model 792 emitters are programmed using the Model 790IS Emitter Software Kit.
http://www.3m.com/us/safety/tcm/solutions/pia_opticomPCS-NY.jhtml
Last Ninja: “Be Able To Kill Your Students”
Apr 29th
This article is crap… this dude might BE a ninja, but he certainly isn’t the last. First of all, I’m a ninja (I completed my training already), and so is Bobby. So I know two ninjas without even looking for them.
The teachings of Grand Master Masaaki Hatsumi echo through my head as he entreats me to attack a blackbelted disciple with a practice sword. “Always be able to kill your students,” he says.
Chilling words from a shockingly fit 76-year-old man who bills himself as the world’s last ninja and stocks his training chamber with weapons such as throwing stars and nunchucks. Especially to a neophyte whose closest brush with martial arts was watching Bruce Lee matinees as a kid.
As I cautiously raise the sword with a taut two-handed samurai grip, my sparring partner gingerly points to Hatsumi. I avert my eyes for a split second – and WHAM! The next thing I know, I’m staring at the rafters.
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/world/14434176.htm
Random Email #15
Apr 26th
Another weird email… Am I getting more than normal??
Typed about 200 pages of text. Due to an addition of information, I need to remove these page numbers and re-assign new numbers. However, the page numbers are in a shaded or gray color, and I am finding it imposible to remove them. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
I’m starting to think that maybe everyone in the world thinks I know everything about everything, because I have no clue who this person is, and I certainly don’t have anything to do with laying out pages.
Random Email #14
Apr 25th
Here’s a good one I got today.
I want Admin password
That is the whole email. Obviously this person is a mastermind at social engineering and phishing. Thankfully I didn’t fall for it though. That was close… {phew!}
Pow!
Apr 24th
I have no clue what this lady is blabbing about, but apparently the other lady didn’t like it too much.
Random Email #13
Apr 18th
Lucky number 13 since I started posting random emails I get.
i just heard about the mysterious website and i want to know all about it.
That’s it… that’s the whole email. hah My website is mysterious…
Unsafe Stuff
Apr 13th
We have become “too safe” here in the United States I think. In other countries (Russia for example), you see stuff like this.
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Random Email #12
Apr 7th
Another good random email I got today…
i big to stat that my id password some body change then i want to get agian so now please kindly grant me live.so there for sir i want guide me OR to get it for thank you.
What in the *hell* are you talking about dude?
Saint Patrick’s Day Pictures
Mar 31st
Julien sent me a couple pictures from Saint Patrick’s Day, so I tossed them up in the photo gallery if anyone is really bored.
About to drink the foulest drink ever made.
This guy looks a lot like the guy that thrashed me at golf recently – gee, I look pretty serious too
“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” Bahahaha! Caught groping Julien, augh!
I might actually look better in Anne’s jacket than Anne does (maybe)
Random Email #11
Mar 28th
I’m a bank now too it seems…
Hi , I live in Ukraine how I can get bank account or credit card in USA ?
Please answer.
Just send me your money (cash only please), and I’ll see what I can do.
Random Email #10
Mar 19th
Here’s another one (in it’s entirety)…
i want to see guys pictures or any thing thats will fun or not fun yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm… don’t know who you are, but are you uhm… drunk?
Random Email #9
Mar 14th
More of them…
Hi!I can’t get asleep.What are U doing?I hope U are not sleeping tooo!
Why would anyone bother to email you just to wish their misfortune of insomnia on you? Bastards!
Finger Break Dancing
Mar 10th
This is a nicely choreographed break dancing routine… Must have practiced for years to get this one right.
Random Email #8
Mar 9th
This guy is lonely… 
I need true, real, good friend.
That’s the entire email… nothing else. Maybe if you would tell me a little about yourself, your desires in life or whatever else, I could be your one true, real, good friend.
Random Email #7
Mar 6th
Apparently I’m also a nutritionist now…
MY BODY IS VERY SLIM AND MY BODY WEIGHT IS VERY LOW.
I HAVE TO INCREASE BODY WEIGHT THEN WAHT CA I DO .
I HAVE TO INCREASE BODY WEIGHT THEN WAHT CA I DO .
Eat a bowl of mayonnaise for breakfast… that should help you gain some weight.
Random Email #6
Mar 5th
What the hell is this person sending me this for?
Have a list of Credit Card numbers, CVV numbers, phone numbers and addresses of American and British citizens. Have got these from BPOs. Let me know if youre interested.
Uhm… do I look like the credit card fraud auction center to you dude? I don’t even know what a BPO is. I don’t think you are allowed to use other people’s credit cards without their permission, so what good would a bunch of other people’s credit cards do for me? Nada.
Real Life Simpsons
Mar 4th
Someone went through a lot of trouble to recreate the Simpson’s opening sequence…
Check How Much You Pay For Crap
Mar 1st
Geez man… I’ve been paying $140/month for my 6Mbit DSL line from SBC for years. Today I ran across something that shows 6Mbit DSL lines from SBC are $44.99/month with a 1 year contract or $59.99 if you pay month to month.
So I called them and asked what the difference was between my $140/month DSL and their $45/month DSL… Uhm, nothing is different… only the price.
“Gee, can I get the cheaper price then?”
“Sure, let me change if for you.”
“Am I going to have any downtime?”
“No, it’s a price change only. Your service will be exactly the same and won’t be affected.”
Nice… so I overpaid them like $2,000 in the last 2 years. haha Oh well…
