How about a 96 square foot house?

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2007/04/27/carollloyd.DTL

People crack me up sometimes… Some dude from Iran figured out how to make infinite free energy, and all he needs from me is $1,000/month or else he will close my AdSense account…
From qeo.50000@yahoo.com:
This is a warning and if you don’t pay attention to it you will suffer from bad turns.
All […]

Bahahahahahaha… stupid dumb ass. man, that fire hydrant goes flying.

So there was that astronaut chick a couple days ago that tried to murder and kidnap someone, and I guess I missed this part the other day, but it makes the whole thing a whole lot funnier.
…the sordid detail that Nowak drove 900 miles from Houston to Orlando wearing a diaper so […]

This is hilarious… who in the hell comes up with this crap? Do they really think some thief is going to report it as “Other Income”? And even if they did (which would be funny), wouldn’t the government sort of be an accomplice since they are benefiting from criminal acts? It almost […]

In the 80’s, it was Denny “Blazin” Hazen, then in the 90’s it was Eminem. For this decade, I would like to nominate this guy for taking the title of “Lyrical Genius Of The Decade”. His voice is also quite remarkable.

The guy in black pants is much better. (thanks to Rob for this)

Augh, I hate these things, thanks to Shoemoney for this. He obviously doesn’t read my blog, because if he did, he wouldn’t have to cry about me not reading my email (haha!).

I was born at home with no midwife (parents thought it was a good idea to just buy a book […]

This guy loved his nachos at the Chargers game… His hand (and clothes) were covered in cheese. I was waiting for him to take off his clothes and start rubbing nachos all over his naked body.

I would just like to thank David Naylor for confirming (against my will) that I find no enjoyment in kissing another man. God damn Brits.
I think it might be the only time in my life that my tongue has touched another man’s tongue. Tastes a bit like a buffalo burger. […]

I don’t know what his “day job” is, but he has to be more qualified for it than being a burglar. This dude seriously needs to find a new line of work.

Every once in awhile I think I have too much time on my hands, but then I run across something like this that reminds me, that other people have more spare time than I do…

This woman was shot 6 times in the head… the bullets were lodged under her scalp, but none of them penetrated her skull.
Pereira was shot Friday in the small city of Monte Claros, about 900 kilometers (560 miles) north of Sao Paulo, after quarreling with her former husband, who was reportedly upset because she refused […]

I know this is about a month old (I read it back then, bur forgot about it until I just ran across it again).
I wonder who the genius was that put 14 of the 19 9/11 terrorists on the national “no fly list”. Did they somehow think they survived the plane crash into the […]

If anyone wants to know what to get me for Christmas, here it is.

I woke up this morning and noticed that the middle finger on my right hand had been bitten by a vampire while I sleep, so in my boredom, I decided to take a picture for your viewing enjoyment.

The picture doesn’t really do it any justice. I did however learn that it’s extremely difficult to […]

Two police officers sued Burger King Corp., claiming they were served hamburgers that had been sprinkled with marijuana.
The lawsuit says Mark Landavazo and Henry Gabaldon, officers for the Isleta Pueblo tribal police, were in uniform and riding in a marked patrol car when they bought meals at the drive-through lane October 8 of a Burger […]

Uhm, what goes through people’s minds sometimes??? hahahahaha
A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.
The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay […]

Something rather odd has been happening lately. I do something that someone doesn’t like (hey, I can’t please everyone). Then they start spewing about how I hate [insert whatever they are here] and am just out to repress/hold them down.
In the last week, I’ve been told I was repressing blacks, I was trying […]

This is probably the stupidest video I’ve seen in awhile… which of course I watched in it’s entirety… so well, uh… yeah.
Anyway, Dax is a dude I met out at SES in San Jose over the summer.

The best part is you get to watch him eat his Jack-In-The-Box lunch for about 10 minutes. […]

Does anyone else besides me think this is weird?
Under the procedure, a small incision is made at the back of the scalp to remove 30 or 40 hair follicles which are carefully sewn one by one onto the patient’s eyelids. Only light sedation and local anesthetics are used and the cost is around $3,000 an […]

What a good idea… maybe we should send old textbooks to soldiers in Iraq to give them some added bullet protection…
A candidate for state superintendent of schools said Thursday he wants thick used textbooks placed under every student’s desk so they can use them for self-defense during school shootings.
“People might think it’s kind of weird, […]

This guy can dance *and* hand out beatings…

How in the hell did this guy not know what was going to happen if you do a line of powdered wasabi??? hah

Some guys from my gang of ninjas getting ready for a high profile mission we are about to embark on…

Japanese people can be kind of funny when they want to be…

Someone has a little too much time on their hands I think.
The only function of the Suspicious Looking device is to appear as suspicious as possible, whether carried in hand or placed indiscrimately in public places.
The SLD contains LEDs, a LED array, a character display, an optical distance sensor, capacitive touch sensor, […]

Haha… this is a funny email I just got.
Hi,my name is Nkaylah and i want to see girls gone wild and i am 33 years old but they wont let me .I was born in 1973,please let me go on girls gone wild.
Nkaylah, who exactly won’t let you see girls that have gone wild? […]

Ever since I became a full-fledged Indian, I’ve had a huge interest in my new culture. While doing some research on some Indian “things”, I came across this… does anyone else think this is weird?

(via Bobby)

It’s been awhile since I got a good one, but here’s one…
how do you change like your sleeves on your arms on your characters on mycoke?
What the hell are you talking about dude?

Surprisingly, some people answered my plea for attention… We got man boobs, animals, drugs, girls and most importantly, mayonnaise.
Of course, my birthday isn’t over, so feel free to post any others over here.

Last and certainly not least, this one even came with a video!

And then a spoof of the […]

So would this freak you out if you there there by chance?

via Bobby

What the hell?
The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush’s personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush’s security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president’s bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush’s feces and urine and flew the waste […]

I was getting a map to the courthouse for my Early Neutral Evaluation Conference this afternoon, and I noticed something… Broadway Avenue in downtown San Diego seems to have some sort of quantum warping going on. The buildings on the north side of the street appear to be leaning on the buildings on the […]

I bet the consummation of the marriage was a glorious and beautiful site to behold.
A 33-year-old man in northern Malaysia has married a 104 year-old woman, saying mutual respect and friendship had turned to love.
It was Muhamad Noor Che Musa’s first marriage and his wife’s 21st, according to reports in the country.
Muhamad, […]

This guy cracks me up… it’s like a train wreck. You don’t want to watch, but you can’t help it.
You can check out a ton of his dances, and even make requests.
http://www.dailydancer.com/

This is just weird… and even weirder that he got off because of it.
One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions.
Matt Brownlee was arrested last […]

I don’t really have anything that I can say that would make this any more (or less depending on who you are) funny… But DAMN it’s funny.
Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ […]

I don’t even know what in the hell a “C-Walk” is, but it’s pretty funny.
First you must begin with a signature stance, something that says,”Watch Out FOOL!
After that, take a quick little breather. But keep looking cool.
You should have the proper state of mind, such as pretending you have ants in your […]

If you ever wanted to wear poop on your head, but didn’t care for the smell, now you can!
The Japanese aren’t shy about bodily secretions and have a sense of humor about them unparalleled. And with their ability to make anything cute and cuddly, they have made even poo an irresistible fashion trend. This joke […]

Supposedly this is some new Bigfoot footage that someone shot in Minnesota, but it just looks like a drunk guy in an ape suit to me…

I saw this a couple weeks ago, and just now ran across it again. Dammit, I forgot to post it the first time around… oh well… better late than never.

An extraordinary family who walk on all fours are being hailed as the breakthrough discovery which could shed light on the moment Man first stood […]

Those crazy Russian scientists… always doing interesting/werid stuff.
Apparently back in the 1940s they were running experiments where they were bringing animals back from the dead…
http://www.kirchersociety.org/blog/?p=316

I’m not sure why, but the video oddly makes me want to try it myself to see if it really works.

UpdateWe confirmed that this does work. We didn’t quite have as good of a technique for getting the Mentos into the 2 liter bottle as quickly, but it […]

I saw this on Boing Boing this afternoon… it looks like DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) is starting to research the feasibility of engineering insect cyborgs…
Quote from their website…
DARPA seeks innovative proposals to develop technology to create insect-cyborgs, possibly enabled by intimately integrating microsystems within insects, during their early stages of metamorphoses. The healing […]

The site calls them “Lover’s Cups”, but I think they are just a way for lazy people to get drunk with each other (like if I’m too lazy to go to a buddies house)…
Lover’s Cups explore the idea of sharing feelings of drinking between two people in different places by using cups as communication interfaces […]

Today is a sad, sad day for the entire world… Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch was shut down today…
Michael Jackson has been ordered to shut his Neverland ranch by California authorities who have fined the pop star $US169,000 ($230,700) for failing to pay his employees or maintain proper insurance.
Jackson’s sprawling ranch in the central California foothills […]

Dude, this guy is whacky… This is a marriage contract he drew up for his wife to sign (she never did of course)…
When we are at home, and alone as a family, you will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed, and then sleep naked, unless otherwise instructed.
View all pages […]

Maybe I’m stupid, but can someone please explain what kind of diagram this could possibly be for?

Not much to say about this one… just watch it.

Okay, this is kind of odd… this is a blender you scream at to make it work. (link to blueprint)
People induce the blender to spin by sounding the sounds of its motor in action. A person may growl low pitch blender-like sounds to get it to spin slow (Blendie pitch and […]

I know this is supposed to be a serious thing for selling sports bras… and that being said, I can’t help but crack up over this thing. hehe

http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html
I’m so immature.

What gets me is the guy that invented this thing probably spent months “perfecting” it. What an excellent use of his time while his friends were out inventing useless things like a telephone or steam engine.

In order to raise the spirits of an Italian prince burdened by the cares of his position, a musician […]

Someone has way, WAY too much time on their hands.
If you want to be really dorky, go to a shell (or command prompt) and type:
telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

For less than $10, you can be really lazy and eat an ice cream cone without expending too much effort.

http://www.shopatron.com/product/product_id=HGW10450/208.0

Yet another…
I want to search some books by using your sites.
Huh? Have you thought about using a site that has anything to do with books maybe?

Well, I wouldn’t *technically* call him my boyfriend… but he totally wants me.

Hahaha!!! They want to ban Grand Theft Auto because it teaches kids bad morals. hahaha
On its web site, the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA is asking parents to assist them in calling for a ban of Take-Two Interactive’s controversial game.

Another one (received today)…
i am trying to sign in
Thanks… please email me again with whatever next comes in your life.

I wonder if this guy got any…

Ever wondered what happens if you shut off a 500kV switch? No? Well it’s interesting anyway…

A 3 foot tall, 37 pound lady gave birth to a 3 pound healthy baby boy yesterday. Dude, the lady gets around in a wheelchair because her body is “distorted” (that’s a quote from the article, I’m not being insensitive)… so what I’m wondering is how her and her husband (who is a giant […]

I hope my interior decorator doesn’t start recommending these lamps made out of doll heads… Sure they are cheap ($35), but I’m not so sure it’s worth it…
http://www.badlighting.net/

Some first grader was suspended from school for 3 days for sexual harassment. hahaha!!! The beginnings of a true pimp.
There have been similar cases. In 1996, a New York second-grader was suspended for kissing a girl and ripping a button off her skirt — an idea the boy said he […]

Here’s one I got this morning…
can you help me to find my coponents and open them to my desktop pc. If youcan wouldyou help meto reprogram my computer and download the correct information i need to do different tasks.
Sure, I’ll get right on that.

I get so many random emails where people think I’m support or sales for whatever company they are trying to reach. So I decided I’ll start posting the emails in their entirety starting now (I’m not going to go digging for old ones).
My printer color is not printing good, igot new ink.but it still want […]

Here’s an utterly useless fact for you…
What are those blue reflectors in the street for? They mark where fire hydrants are. They will be offset to the side of the street where the hydrant is.
Aren’t you glad you know that now?

Uhm… I thought maybe it was an isolated incident, but apparently more than one person thinks this is the cool thing to do.

I saw a commercial for some drug to help combat “restless leg syndrome” where you have a tingling feeling in your legs, and you have the urge to move/shift your legs. Is this a real thing?
Why do I feel like maybe a drug manufacturer made up this “disease”?
Maybe if your body is telling you […]

Why in the hell would anyone buy this? Actually, a better question would be why in the hell would anyone MAKE this???
http://www.etsy.com/view_item_sold_anon.php?listing_id=69369&transaction_id=16776

Time to invest in the stock market!
http://money.cnn.com/2006/01/23/news/funny/super_bowl_indicator/
The National Football League playoffs produced a Super Bowl matchup that suggests a winning year for stocks is now a lock.
When the Pittsburgh Steelers upset the Denver Broncos Sunday, it meant that neither team in the Feb. 5 game will have American Football League roots. The […]

I get very few phone calls on my cell phone… maybe 3 calls per week or so. Anyway… sitting in the car with my roommate, I started singing my ringtone (which I don’t do normally). And 10 seconds later my cell phone started ringing. My roommate had a pretty weird look on […]

Teach ‘em young! At this rate smokers might die of lung cancer before they are legally allowed to buy cigarettes.
Maybe Gerber should just make tobacco flavored baby food.
I can just see this kid on Santa’s lap… “I’ve been a good boy, I would like a carton of Marlboro […]

Someone pointed out to me that the day after my NY Times article came out, someone went and registered shawnhogan.com.
Now *that’s* pretty funny if you ask me.
I hope they put it to good use and start the official fan club. hahahaha

You know a site has gotten pretty popular when you happen to find your mom on it (in addition to the millions of other people)… hehe
http://www.myspace.com/robinq

Wait, what? I don’t even know what to say about this one, but Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey is running for Governor of Minnesota in 2006.
The picture I have was taken from his campaign website. hahaha…
http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/Home_page.html
Honesty is very seldom heard nowadays, especially from a politician. So, I am going to break from political tradition. […]

What’s the deal with Chuck Norris lately? I seem to run across his name everywhere these days…
From http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
There is no […]

Last night when I was at Shawn and Allison’s apartment for New Years Eve, somehow we ran across something that I never knew existed… Amputee porn.
I don’t remember how we ended up finding it, but uhm… wait… amputee porn? People pay a membership fee to look at naked chicks with no legs/arms?
After that, no […]

David Letterman successfully had the restraining order against him overturned.
“I appealed to the court for a restraining order to keep this man away from me, but now that’s been denied me,” she said. “He has access to me. He can actually come for me or send people. He has many accomplices. I know this sounds […]

While playing a game of “Keep Away” with a cell phone, a woman decided to swallow the phone. Gee, what an incredibly good idea!
The woman was taken to the emergency room at St. Mary’s Hospital in Blue Springs. She still had the telephone in her throat upon arrival at the hospital, Decker said.
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/13474487.htm

Colleen Nestler of Santa Fe, New Mexico was actually granted a restraining order against David Letterman because she says he used code words on Late Night to show he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host. According to the documents, Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her mental […]

It’s pretty funny to see the propaganda that the United States drops on countries we invade. In 1983, we rescued Grenada from “rape and slavery”.

This is issue #1 for the comic book (I wonder how many issues came out? hehe).
Check page 8 to see the enemies “master plan”.
http://www.ep.tc/grenada/

Not exactly the proper treadmill technique (I’m assuming anyway). “Are jeans and a jacket the proper running attire?”
Man, I could watch this over and over for hours and keep laughing I think. What the hell is the blonde chick doing?

P.S. - Does anyone know how to convert an animated GIF […]

I’ve been having bizarre dreams about people that I know who they are, but never met before. Last night I somehow got caught in the middle of Paris Hilton and some of her friends robbing a department store. Long story short is somehow I got sucked into being their getaway driver.
The night before […]

So apparently two readers of my blog got the same idea after reading this entry. How awesome would it be to get brass knuckle implants? And they are cheaper than breast implants, so it’s even better! Judging from some of their life decisions, these are obviously good women that would make good […]

What to get your gang-banging girl in your life for Christmas? Rhinestone brass knuckles of course. Leaves a pretty impression in someone’s forehead.

I could care less about Apple’s retail strategy, but what I want to know is what kind of glass cube is worth $9 million dollars? And more importantly, what kind of retail space is worth $1,000 per square foot in RENT???
http://www.appleinsider.com/article.php?id=1398

Uhm… some lady is making houses out of the contents of a vacuum dust bag… and it’s “art”. Uhm, how about no? Gross. (link)

A wax museum in Moscow, Russia is currently running an exhibition that highlights dangers of drug use.
This is what happens if you sniff glue, so don’t do it.

Drug addicts commonly get gangrene apparently… haha It seems that drug addicts also have crappy shoes. He probably got gangrene from walking around […]

Would be ideal if the video quality was better, but it’s still cool…

I saw this on TV last night (I wish I had the video for this, but I can’t find it anywhere yet). This is what Joaquin Phoenix had to say to a reporter while doing an interview for his new movie I Walk The Line…
“Do I have a large frog in my hair? … […]

This is interesting… this appears to be the first “wrongful life” suit… A disabled girl (blind and deaf) is suing her mom’s doctor for letting her be born into a “lifetime of suffering”.
http://www.courttv.com/news/2005/1110/harriton_ctv.html

You want to know why my stock market prediction is going to come true? Because I’m psychic… all I have to do is think about getting more Xserves, and this morning someone from Apple’s enterprise business unit called me asking if I would be interested in any Xserves if they would give me a […]

Dude, I missed my friend Shawn’s 1,000,000,000 second birthday a few months ago.
Anyway, he turned 1,000,000,000 seconds old on March 11, 2005. Happy belated birthday, and sorry I missed it Shawnie!!! I hope you did something fun (that obviously I wasn’t invite to… dick).

Wouldn’t it be cool if aliens came down one day and told you that you were the heir to the universe, and gave you the keys to a dope spaceship? You never know… it could happen.

I read on CNN today that some US troops are being accused of “corpse abuse” because they burned some dead bodies. This is just a FYI to anyone that had to deal with my dead body someday…
Feel free to burn my body, mutilate it or whatever else you feel necessary. Hell, if you […]

After seeing the “Jesus In The Sand” image from the Google satellites, it reminded me of a Nazi building a saw here in my hometown (San Diego).
I don’t know what is actually in it or anything, but it sure seems like a strange to design a building in the shape of a Nazi swastika (even […]

Who would have thought that Jesus was trapped in a sand dune in Peru, but apparently it’s true. This is undeniable evidence that Jesus is alive and well. I think someone should go visit him and see what’s up (maybe they could answer the real question here… Has Jesus Christ taken up Spanish?)
Truthfully, […]

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that if my cat had two tongues, it would kind of freak me out. I think maybe this cat got some lizard DNA in him or something.
Just looking that that picture almost makes me want to cry.
Thankfully, my cats are not a […]

These Czech animatronic statues realistically urinate on the trough before them, moving their hips and organs in concert. Their “pee” spells out quotes from famous Prague residents.
While they are peeing, the two figures move realistically. An electric mechanism driven by a couple of microprocessors swivels the upper part of the body, while the penis goes […]